Tit for tat…

Lately I’ve found myself in a few compromising situations through no fault of my own. In fact these are situations that I’m sure some would be envious of. They all have to do with women and their breasts. Some real, some fake but all breasts.

The first one happened while we were away on holidays recently. The family and I went to our favourite Thai restaurant whereupon my husband excused himself to go to the bathroom. No sooner had he gone when the lady owner came over to say hello. After some informal chit chat she informed me she had just come back from a trip to Thailand.
Me: Oh, how wonderful. How was it?
Her: Good, very good! I bought these?
Me: Oh. Wow. Great. They look great.
Her: Very cheap. Very nice. Feel very nice. Look, touch.
And over she came, squatted in front of me, pulled down her t-shirt and promptly told me to feel her double D’s. So I did. At a restaurant. Full of customers. In front of my sons.
Her: Feel real, yes?
Me: Yes. Yes. They feel very nice. Congratulations.
Her: Me very happy.
Wonderful- nothing like a boob fondle with your Pad Thai. Needless to say my husband was kicking himself for having gone to the toilet and I’m still trying to explain to my boys why I was touching that lady’s boobies.

The other day I was doing some shopping when I saw this lady wearing this beautiful singlet that I loved. So I told her (I often give random strangers compliments). She was very flattered and promptly told me where she got it from and how much and what colours it came in. She also pulled the singlet down so I could see that it had support built in and that she didn’t need to wear a bra with it. Which she wasn’t. Because she pulled it down so low that I saw her breasts. In the store. In public. I didn’t know her name, yet I knew she had a mole next to her left nipple. Great- I guess that makes us bosom buddies now.

So I guess I’m just wondering why women feel compelled to show me their breasts. Especially when they’re fake ones. Are they somehow not as private when they’re plastic? My husband thinks I must give off an aura that makes women feel comfortable around me and want to show me their mammary glands. I’m guessing he’s also hoping some of that aura rubs off on him. x

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