From where I’m sitting, here in the southern hemisphere in hipster land -AKA Melbourne, it’s bloody freezing! Meteorologists are claiming it to be the coldest winter ever, the coldest morning in 25 years, the first time it’s snowed in Queensland and making all sorts of icy statements.
To me it only means one thing- all I want to do is eat. Let me clarify that- all I want to do is eat carbs. Preferably the kind that are peeled and deep fried in oil then sprinkled with salt and dipped in tomato sauce. Yep- give me anything hot and deep fried and I’m as happy as Homer with a donut!
This increased appetite over the winter months and the constant FITSPO posts on my Instagram feed are making me want to scream. Throw the European summer photos into the mix from friends and family basking under the Mykonos sun and I’m ready to dive into a tub of Ben and Jerry’s!
Have you noticed that all holiday snaps seem to include one or more of the following:
- a sunset with your fingers making a heart shape around the sun
- a sunrise with your fingers making a heart shape around the sun
- the sun
- your legs with the sea in the background
- you sipping a gigantic cocktail poolside
- you with sunglasses on sunbaking
- you from the back entering the water
- palm trees against a backdrop of blue skies
- a bikini shot while lying down so your stomach looks flat
- a photo of your feet in crystal clear water.
And how about those holiday hashtags. Here are some of my favourites-
#holidaylyfe #dontbejealous #beachlyfe #blessed #lovethis #hotdoglegs #tanning #soblack
I know what you’re thinking…YOU CAN TALK CHRYSTAL! How about all your holiday snaps that have been flooding our Instagram feeds??
That doesn’t count! They were my snaps and I was on holidays and I was certain you wanted to see every single sunset and coffee with a view I consumed. Am I right?
Having to endure people’s holiday snaps is both a love and hate experience. We love the way these images uplift us and give us motivation to plan our next getaway but at the same time they give us a momentary feeling of FUCKOFFness.
So while I sit here devouring my Messina ice-cream straight from the family take home tub, I am also tensing my abs (and by abs I mean stomach fat) and squeezing my buttocks at the same time in hope that it counts in some small way as exercise. All the while scrolling through my feed at all your images of *hot dog legs on the beach and sunsets through palm trees and wishing I was there. Sigh. X
Photos are all my own taken while on holidays. Sorry.
(For those not familiar with the term hot dog legs, here are some examples. Have a guess- hot dogs or tanned legs?)